India is a country of different religion, caste and language. In India marriage is considered to be a sacred relation between a man and woman. Marriage is considered to be the great event in one’s life. Marriage ceremonies are also different in different community. Every community has a name in this wonderful event. Tamil matrimony is considered to be a tremendous marriage ritual due to their different rituals. A Tamil marriage ceremony is held over two days and generally an occasion for all the near and distant relatives to come together. The Tamil community’s belief in simple living is reflected in their marriage ceremony, which are holistic in nature. According to the ceremony, a Tamil marriage cannot be held in the month of July 15th to August 15th, September 15th to October 15th and December 15th to January 15th, as these days are considered inauspicious as well as Tuesdays and Saturdays. The Naathaswaram and the Melam are the two musical instruments, commonly found in Tamil Nadu that plays an important role in Tamil marriage ceremonies.
Pre Wedding Tamil Ceremony:
Once marriage is finalized, an auspicious day is chosen to draw up the marriage agreement which is then placed on a plate full of bananas, coconuts and betel leaf. To mark the occasion, the bride is gifted a silk sari while the groom is also given clothes or cash by their respective in-laws.
Paalikali Thalippu:
This ritual is performed by the bride’s family. It includes decorating seven clay pots with sandalwood paste and kumkum powder, which are then filled with curd and nine types of grains Nava Dhaanyam. Later they are given water by seven married ladies from both sides that are then presented with gifts. In the next day they are thrown in pond in the hope if any fish eats the grains that would have sprouted by now, and then it would bless the new couple.
Sumangali Prarthanai:
In Tamil community they believe that women who pass away before their husband are considered lucky and called Sumangali. This ceremony involves praying to all the Sumangalis to ensure that the future bride should also be blessed with such a fate and organizing a feast for married women and gifting them saris.
Kalyanaponnu or Kalyanappillai:
In this ritual the bride and the groom bath with scented oils separately in their respective houses after which they are not supposed to leave their homes till the marriage.
Receiving the Groom and his Family:
The groom’s marriage entourage arrives a day before the marriage and is received amidst much celebration with a tray containing offerings of flowers, paansupari and fruits. The groom is specially welcomed by being sprinkled with rose water and fed with sweets by the bride’s mother.
Nandi Devata Puja:
The Nandi Devata puja is performed by Sumangalis after which they present the couple with new clothes.
Navgraha Puja:
This is performed to propitiate the nine astral planets that are said to be rule over a person’s destiny.
Vritham:
This ritual involves tying of the holy thread around her wrist while the groom prepares himself for his impending marriage and other responsibilities.
Naandi Shaaartham:
As a symbol of the souls of the ancestors of both the bride and the groom’s family, ten Brahmins are invited. The two families seek their blessings and honor them with gifts of fruits, flowers, coconuts, sweets and clothes.
Janavasanam:
This refers to the formal betrothal where the groom is first brought to the venue amongst lot of music and dance and is received by the bride’s family with five kinds of guests.
Nicchiyadharatham:
In this ritual the bride’s parents perform a puja of Lord Ganesh after which the bride comes. She is applied a tilak of chandan and kumkum and gifted a new sari by the groom’s family.
Wedding day Rituals:
Mangalasnanam:
It refers to the ceremonial bathing at an auspicious hour early in the morning of the wedding day. After bathing aarti is performed by the ladies of the house.
Gauri puja:
After bathing and dressing up, the bride prays privately to Goddess Gauri.
Kashi Yatra:
In this ritual the groom pretends to leave for kashi, a pilgrimage center to devote himself to god and a life of prayer. He carries a walking stick and other essentials with him to imply that he is not interested in becoming a householder. The bride’s father interferes and requests him to accept his daughter as his life partner and to fulfill his responsibilities as a householder. The groom relents and is taken to the marriage venue.
Pada Puja:
The bride’s mother washes the groom’s feet on his return and then calls for her daughter who is escorted to the mandap by her maternal uncle.
The Tamil Marriage:
The groom is taken to the marriage mandap where he and the bride exchange one of their garlands thrice to symbolize their unification. Then they are seated on a swing and offered milk and bananas by the elder women of the house who also throw colored rice balls in four directions to ward off the evil spirits. Then the bride’s father performs the ceremony of Kanyadan and hands over his daughter to the groom who gratefully accepts the bride. Then the groom ties a piece of string attached to turmeric around his waist and the bride’s wrist after which the bride receives a new sari from the groom. As she leaves the mandap to change the new sari, the ‘mangalasutra’ is blessed by all the elder of the family. Then the groom ties it around the bride’s neck. The wedding finally culminates when the couple takes seven steps together. The couple then goes out the venue to spot the Pole star and the star of Arundhati. On coming back to mandap, the bride makes offerings of parched rice grains into the fire after which the groom puts on toe rings on the bride’s right feet. Then the couple drinks Panaham, a traditional beverage made with cardamom, jiggery and black pepper in water.
Post Marriage Ceremony:
Nagoli Vasthra:
In this ritual the groom is presented with a suitcase, new clothes and a diamond ring.
Griha Pravesh:
It is the entry of new bride in the groom’s house. She is welcomed with an aarti after which she enters the house by tipping over a jar filled with rice.
Sambandhi Virandh:
This involves the exchange of gifts between the groom and the bride’s family.
Valeyadal:
In this ritual the sister of the groom offers a gift to her new sister-in-law after which the new couple indulges in traditional marriage games.
Reception:
The reception is hosted by the groom’s family where the new bride gets the chance to be acquainted with the family and friends.
Bridal Night:
On the wedding night an idol of lord Krishna is presented by the bride’s mother as well as gifts. As they come out next morning, women of the house sing songs.
Return of the bride’s family to their home:
The family of the bride prepares an elaborate meal for the groom’s party. They also pack food for the bride’s new house. A relative accompanies the bride as a chaperone, to her matrimonial home and comes back home with gifts from the groom’s family.
Sadva Puja:
In the very next day in groom’s house the new bride serves the first spoon of ‘payasam’ to women assembled for a sadva puja.
Sumangali Prarthanai:
This is similar to the ceremony held before the marriage involving married women but the only difference is that it is held in the groom’s house.
Maruvidu Varudal:
This marks the visit of newly married women to the bride’s parents who shower the couple with more gifts.
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